Think You Deserve Companionship? Apply to Adopt a Dog Today!

Thank you on your curiosity in adopting “Fester.” Please fill out the appliance beneath to assist us decide whether or not you’re a good match.

Provide contact info on your veterinarian. If you aren’t registered with a vet’s workplace, your software shall be discarded unread.

Do you at the moment have pets or have you ever lately had pets? If so, your software shall be discarded unread.

You could also be questioning in regards to the obvious paradoxical nature of the primary two questions. The appropriate reply would have been that you just posed as an animal for a number of years so as to set up a relationship with a veterinary clinic and a favorable rapport with the workplace employees.

Have you ever returned a library ebook late? Please clarify at size beneath.

Have you ever been dumped? Provide the related contact info, in order that we could be taught the circumstances of this interpersonal failure.

Did you lie in regards to the library ebook? Please remember that we will be contacting your elementary-school librarian, whom you final noticed in 1997. Please additionally remember that, although you could return and alter any solutions on this kind, we’ll know.

Have you ever purchased a bag of salad combine and let it rot as a substitute of consuming it?

Two years in the past, at a networking occasion, when Tara was telling the group about her new Jack Russell terrier, did you narrow her off to discuss your personal bullshit? Why did you do that? What is improper with you?

Are you now remembering different instances once you interrupted folks to make inane feedback? Any character flaws shall be famous, and should trigger us to reëxamine your paperwork. We have a excessive quantity of candidates for every canine—candidates with superior math abilities and shiny hair, candidates whose pals regard them extra extremely than yours do you. Our Furever Homes applicant-acceptance fee is decrease than one per cent.

Are you overthinking the earlier query? An inclination towards introspection is just not essentially a high quality that we search for in a potential canine proprietor.

We are additionally cautious of candidates who usually are not introspective sufficient. We will know the proper stage of self-reflection once we see it. So will our canines.

Have you ever mentioned “Nice, I’ll check that out!” with absolutely the information that you’ll not, at any level, examine that factor out?

Were you as soon as concerned in a scheme to genetically modify canines in order that they might play tennis, by breeding them to finally have one entrance paw changed by a furry tennis racquet?

Are you now frantically digging via your recordsdata, scouring outdated correspondence, to uncover how we may presumably know in regards to the Tennis Dogs Project?

Do you assume that it was Tara who tipped us off? Do you assume that perhaps you shouldn’t have approached her with that proposition relating to her Jack Russell terrier, then claimed it was a joke?

Do you assume that you just’re “funny”?

Please be aware that the processing of submitted functions will take so long as it wants to take, and that we are going to not be responding to failed candidates. We emphatically do not settle for simultaneous functions—in case you are contemplating making use of to undertake a canine from a totally different rescue group, we’ll know.

The solely method for you to be taught the result of your software is to refresh our web page repeatedly, whereas gazing at Fester’s fluffy face—his expression of longing, his lovable underbite—and creating an irrepressible attachment to the concept of rising outdated with Fester by your facet, till, finally, his profile vanishes from the location. At this level, you’re free to start your search yet again.

Best of luck!

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