Susan Collins Sad That Joe Manchin Has Replaced Her as Most Annoying Senator

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins mentioned that she is “a little bit sad” to see Senator Joe Manchin change her as the nation’s most annoying senator.

“For years, I’ve been the most aggravating person in this legislative chamber, and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it,” she mentioned. “Still, if an obscure senator from Maine can’t wield outsized power anymore, it’s only fitting that the baton be passed to an obscure senator from West Virginia.”

Asked to recollect a very gratifying second from her lengthy reign of irritation, Collins mentioned, “It would have to be when I kept everyone guessing about how I’d vote on Kavanaugh. Those were good times.”

In an official response to her remarks, Manchin mentioned, “I’ve been a big fan of Susan Collins’s work as a vexing time-waster for as long as I can remember. In terms of being infuriating, she has set the bar very, very high for me.”

More Satire from the Borowitz Report

Source link