WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a refrain of outrage directed on the President, Republicans accused Joe Biden of making hundreds of thousands of Americans’ arms damage in his first hundred days in workplace.

Leading the assault was Senator Ron Johnson, who claimed that Biden was hurting “between three and four million arms a day.”

“Once your arm stops hurting, don’t get too comfortable,” he stated. “In a few weeks, Joe Biden will make your arm hurt for a second time.”

Johnson didn’t speculate about why the President needed Americans’ arms to harm, however stated that Biden bears “full responsibility” for the nation’s epidemic of sore arms.

“None of this would be happening if Donald Trump was President,” he charged.

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