Rand Paul Claims Biden’s Infrastructure Plan Infringes on Bridges’ Right to Crumble

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Rand Paul mentioned that he’s opposing President Joe Biden’s infrastructure plan as a result of it “infringes on bridges’ constitutional right to crumble.”

“Decay, deterioration, and collapse are all a part of the natural process of entropy,” Paul mentioned. “It is not the job of government to play God and interfere with that.”

Warning of the “slippery slope of government overreach,” Paul mentioned that the Biden plan is “threatening our infrastructure’s precious freedom to disintegrate.”

“First they came for our bridges, then they came for our potholes, and then they came for our lead water pipes,” he mentioned.

The Kentucky senator’s feedback drew assist from an unlikely ally, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Look, I was just glad to see Rand talking about something besides the pandemic,” Fauci mentioned.

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