I am attempting to determine if I can purchase two
rolls of paper towel or three

and if I purchase two rolls of paper towel now

then they take up much less area within the bag that I have to carry dwelling
however

if I purchase three rolls of paper towel then I received’t have to go purchase extra
rolls of paper towel once more as quickly as I would have if I solely purchased two
and of course there isn’t a proper reply
however perhaps

if I discover myself going again to the shop to get extra paper towel
sooner I will all of the sudden be hit with inspiration on the stroll there
or hit

by a automobile on the stroll there and

if I bought three rolls of paper towel then I can be avoiding that
altogether and I
can be extra ready for spills as a result of
what if I solely bought two rolls of paper towel and ran out and didn’t
have sufficient time to get a brand new roll of paper towel after which if I
spilled one thing I’d have to use a sheet of loose-leaf paper to strive
to clear it up however that isn’t as absorbent and the spill would stain
however

what if I bought three rolls of paper towel and spilled one thing
after my third roll of paper towel ran out and if I had solely got-
ten two rolls of paper towel I would have run out of paper towel
earlier and would have gone to get two extra rolls of paper towel
earlier than this occurred and can be nicely stocked in paper towel
by the point the spill got here round and
actually what I am considering is perhaps
if I select the fitting alternative right here and now within the paper-towel aisle
of the grocery retailer then my life goes to change and that

this one small alternative will butterfly-effect itself into
lastly
some new life as a result of
isn’t that what we’re all the time informed that each small motion counts
that one small factor can change somebody’s life and so how are we
not all the time folding beneath the stress of EVERY SMALL
THING MATTERING IN THE BIGGEST WAYS AND

SO NOTHING IS EVER REALLY A SMALL THING
IS IT NOT
EVEN HOW MANY ROLLS OF PAPER TOWEL TO
GET AND NOW I AM
in a special retailer and I have
discovered a shirt I love however
it matches me in two completely different sizes and

if a shirt matches in two completely different sizes ought to I simply

get each and put on the bigger shirt in contexts the place the bigger
shirt can be higher and the smaller shirt in contexts the place the
smaller shirt can be higher and I
want there was no alternative in any respect however now I am
considering

even if there was simply the shirt in a single measurement
ought to I purchase two an identical variations of it as a result of
why would I not desire a backup of a shirt that I discovered that I
adore as a result of
do you even perceive how exhausting it’s to discover a shirt that I love
and
what would I do if one thing occurred to it like

if I tore it or

it slowly shrinks within the wash

which is by the way one more reason to get the bigger shirt and
what if

I spilled one thing on it and

why do I have this preoccupation with spilling I don’t

suppose I’ve spilled something in years as a result of

one of the upsides of worrying about spilling issues is that you just’re
usually fairly cautious about not spilling something BUT

THE MOMENT YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN IS
ALWAYS WHEN IT HAPPENS AND WHAT IF
THE ONE TIME IT HAPPENS IS WHEN I HAVE

an vital job interview or I have

an vital assembly or it’s simply

on a day when I have to work together with any particular person in any respect or I am

simply at dwelling on my own and even in that scenario it

means I have ruined my shirt after which I suppose
so what occurs if my shirt will get destroyed and I
don’t have that shirt anymore
nicely I can all the time get it once more however then
what if I search for the shirt and I
discover that

the shop now not sells that particular shirt anymore or

THE STORE NO LONGER EXISTS ANYMORE
BECAUSE AFTER ALL
EVERYTHING IS CLOSING THESE DAYS SO

why would I not stockpile as many of these good shirts as I
presumably can earlier than they disappear however even
if I do this which of the 2 sizes ought to I get or ought to I simply

get a bunch of each sizes so I can determine later and HOW

are there One Thousand completely different selections of yogurt and I don’t
even know if I need yogurt however now I’m
taking a look at all of the varieties of yogurt as a result of now I’m in entrance of the
milk and dairy wall and now I really feel
like I have to determine as a result of

there’s a DECISION TO BE MADE AND I AM

GOING TO MAKE THE RIGHT ONE BECAUSE THIS
YOGURT IS GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE WHEN I
DECIDE WHICH ONE IT IS AND I

don’t know the place to start ought to I

have a look at the sugar content material first or determine if I

need fruit on the underside or

perhaps simply begin with selecting the flavour first however
what if the flavour I select doesn’t come within the yogurt kind I need
or what if my dad was proper and I ought to solely get fat-free yogurt
or perhaps
entire milk could have a richer taste and make me Happier and
what’s

“AUSTRALIAN-STYLE” or

what if I get meals poisoning if I select the CONTAINER that
occurs to have one thing unhealthy in it and
it seems like there are too many variables and
it seems like I’m attempting to decipher one thing that has One Thou-
sand completely different translations and which of these may ever be the
proper one so I
do what I all the time do in these conditions which is I
textual content you and

I ask to your opinion so it will probably override my lack of ability to make my
personal resolution and so your opinion can grow to be my resolution however
actually I
am simply asking you so you’ll free me and perhaps
it’s as a result of you’re the solely half of my life that by no means seems like a
resolution that I am pressured to make however
it’s additionally as a result of I know

what you’ll say is what you all the time say which is
simply select any of them they’re all good don’t fear about it in any respect
and
even don’t fear about it in any respect is a choice even if it’s not the one
I was attempting to make and
once you say it, it doesn’t harm or diminish my emotions and
once you say it, it’s releasing and
once you say it, I notice that that call was the one I was
attempting to attain for by myself however I simply couldn’t
by all this data in entrance of me that I had to decipher
and
all this textual content in entrance of me that I had to translate however now

I am holding a Blueberry Flavored Whole Milk Greek Style Cup
of Yogurt, and now

I am placing it in my basket, and now

I am strolling away from the dairy wall,

and all I can discover myself considering is,
it can’t be by coincidence that “decide” and “decode” are solely
one letter aside.

From “Goodbye, Again” by Jonny Sun, to be printed by Harper Perennial.



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