Hurry—This Mattress Sale Won’t Last Forever (Nothing Does)!


Quick! This weekend only, you can get fifty per cent off your entire Sweet Dreamz Mattress order. Just enter the code CUSTOMER at checkout. This is the perfect opportunity to replace your old, worn-out mattress with a brand new, high-end one at half the cost. But you have to act fast. Because, like all things in the universe, this sale is temporary.

Change is life’s only constant. The world of mattress sales is no exception. The sooner you can embrace this bittersweet fact, the sooner you can finally know peace and rest easy.

You can’t hold on to this sale forever. Tempting as it may be to cling to a moment in time, that sort of unhealthy attachment will be your undoing. Let’s enjoy this mattress sale while we can, then, when the time comes, surrender gracefully to its life cycle’s end. Nature always finds a way. (In this case, nature will render the discount code on our Web site inoperable.)

After the weekend-long sale, we can reflect fondly on its memory. We will think to ourselves, Ah, yes. That was a wonderful mattress sale. It will live on in our collective consciousness. We will celebrate the profound impact it had on us all (for instance, the super mega savings). Because, try as you might, you can’t preserve this blowout sale in amber.

So, please, whether you’re taking advantage of this amazing deal or not, after the fact, simply let it all go, and don’t look back. You may be inclined to dwell on the road not taken, but you can never undo your choice. That sale will be gone forever.

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Sure, other discounts may come along, but they will be different. Maybe they will get you forty per cent off. Maybe thirty. Maybe they will involve a mail-in rebate or some pay structure that hasn’t been invented yet. Maybe these sales will be offered by our competitors. We can only control what we can control.

At the end of the day, every mattress sale has an expiration date, as do the mattresses themselves, as does every human who has lain down on our proprietary memory-foam technology. In a way, this is beautiful. The mattress sale’s fleeting nature is, arguably, the source of its divinity.

When we reflect on how this insanely good deal will expire, its beauty is made that much more apparent. We humans weren’t programmed to experience infinity. We can’t handle too much of a good thing. If these mattresses were available half off all year round, the sweetness of the deal would soon turn unpleasantly saccharine. We would tire of the monotony of our new reality.

Hopefully, the ephemeral nature of this sale will remind you how important it is to seize the mattress deal while you can. You only get one life. You might as well fill it with a top-of-the-line mattress that you can’t buy anywhere else, according to ten thousand happy customers and counting.

Of course, if you do take advantage of these super savings and aren’t totally satisfied with your mattress, there is a thirty-day window to exchange or return it. Then, eventually, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, even this buyback window will end.



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