Greg Abbott Tries to Lure Back Democratic Lawmakers by Offering NPR Tote Bags

AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—In a video message posted on Sunday, the governor of Texas, Greg Abbott, tried to lure Democratic lawmakers again to work by providing them free NPR tote luggage.

Displaying one of many canvas luggage on provide, Abbott mentioned that it was “perfect for carrying around all your liberal needs.”

“Let’s say you want to bring a copy of Michelle Obama’s ‘Becoming’ to work, or perhaps some amazing book by Rachel Maddow,” he mentioned. “With this limited-edition tote, you’ll be the envy of all your lib friends.”

Abbott informed lawmakers that the tote bag, which comes with a “Fresh Air” mug, could possibly be theirs, freed from cost, however provided that they return to work on Monday.

“Come and get it, snowflakes,” he mentioned.

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