A Baby Boomer’s Entertainment-Industry Advice


So you wish to break into Hollywood? It’s not a walled metropolis—simply stroll proper in! Ha ha. But, significantly, in the event you comply with this recommendation, making it within the leisure business is as simple as paying for school. Speaking of, have you ever tried happening to the native faculty and looking out on the job boards?

If you wish to be a comedy author, you’ve received to fax in jokes to “S.N.L.” and the late-night discuss reveals. Don’t personal a fax machine? Buy one, ASAP. Best buy you’ll ever make.

Get an entry-level P.A. job happening espresso runs and the like. When the boss orders a small black espresso, get him ten larges. He’ll keep in mind the way you went above and past. Just so you realize, I’m utilizing male pronouns to your hypothetical boss as a result of that’s simply how the world is, O.Ok.? I don’t make the foundations.

I nearly forgot—lately, schooling is crucial. Have you considered going to Harvard? Freshman fall, be part of the “Lampoon.” Meet your finest buddies for all times there, whereas ready in line for the lavatory. Just kidding! There’d by no means be a line for the lads’s room. It’s that form of humor the seniors will keep in mind in just a few years after they’re showrunning “Taxi.”

Don’t trouble making an attempt to get an agent. Here’s what you do: go to a pleasant indoor shopping center in Florida (outdoors Jacksonville is nice, however Pensacola works, too) with a stunning baby who has nice diction. Hang out for just a few hours, and an agent will discover you.

Everyone will let you know to maneuver to L.A. or New York. What you actually ought to do is transfer into an OfficeMax. Put some packing peanuts on prime of a copier and—bam!—you’ve received your self a mattress that prints résumés.

But in the event you’re in L.A. and also you see a man with a pleasant automotive, supply to clean it. You by no means know who you may meet. That automotive may very well be Marty Scorsese.

Write a script that will get everybody speaking. Like a spec script of “Friends” starring a brand new visitor character you’d play who dates Rachel. Send it to Jen Aniston. It won’t be proper for them to provide this season, however they’ll preserve you in thoughts and rent you to put in writing a contract episode of “Joey.”

Learn concerning the business—take the Warner Bros. studio tour. Loudly point out “I’ve got a great take on ‘Batman’ ” to nobody particularly. Mr. Warner himself may very well be strolling by.

Remember that fax machine you acquire? It additionally works as a phone! Use it to cold-call Ronnie Howard and inform him how a lot you liked “The Princess Bride.” He didn’t make that film, however he’ll learn about it. Pitch your concepts for the way it may’ve been higher. He’ll be impressed by your guts and rent you on the spot.

Keep in thoughts that this business may be irritating. Treat your self to a pleasant dinner at Dan Tana’s, and go away copies of your résumé contained in the menus.

O.Ok., this one’s a bit of unorthodox, however splurge on that aircraft ticket to attend your grandmother’s new boyfriend’s stepson’s wedding ceremony. And presto—what have you learnt? You’re leaving with a renewed religion in love and a job working for Stan Kubrick.

Don’t signal something earlier than you discuss to a lawyer. Remind me later, and I’ll get you my man’s information. He’s unbelievable—he did all of Liz Taylor’s divorces.

If none of that works—I don’t know, make a viral YouTube video or one thing.



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